Why can't I get a handle on ... this?
Why do I feel like I'm losing ... everything?
and
why is ... this ... happening?
Trying to play it off as if everything’s cool
Knowing inside I'm nothing but a fool
No judgments in their words, only care and concern
My mind is so jumbled unable to discern
What is best for me, my friends and family,
So many involved I just can’t see
An easy out, what is the right thing to do?
Don’t even know the difference between lies and truth.
What used to be my comfort my solace my place
Seems so distant, and foreign… as I begin to pace
Mulling over the words, thoughts, decisions and struggle
Now hunched in this dark corner alone I huddle
I’ve changed, I’m different, I’m not the same person I was
What will they say when they see the person I’ve become?
So desperate, so alone, brought to my knees
God I’m crying, reaching upward to thee
Help me make the choice I know to be right
Guide and comfort me on these long, lonely, depressed nights
Let me receive wisdom, understanding and all the tools
To live, love and enjoy a life completely soled out for you
So that’s it it’s done, leave the familiarity of my comfort zone
To learn how to live a life serving him alone
I’m done and I’m finally through
Destroying my life and fighting with you
Make my sole desire be for your will to be done
So be it God, here I come.